I am Not a Man, I am a Transsexual Man
Biology
I wish I never had to say this. But today I feel an urgency to tell the truth. Thirty one years ago I decided to transition from female to male. That means I used medical procedures to alter the look of my body. My physical appearance. This helped me in so many ways that I do not think I could even articulate. But I do think you know what I mean.
My biology never changed.
Now I look like a man. This is what a Transsexual man is. A female who feels like she wants to be a male. Gender dysphoria. A very uncomfortable feeling when the world views you as a woman when you want them to view you as a man. It’s all physical to help the mental. This helps the brain align in some way that make me comfortable to walk outside, go to the grocery store or work out at the gym. The dysphoria, that feeling that you want to be or look like man and you know you don’t, has pretty much gone away. The feeing of freedom. What I have sought after for as long as I could remember.
My biology never changed.
Not wanting to fool you, though I think some people think that. What I am trying to do is blend in, not makes waves. Just walk the street without seeing that look in your eye. You know the one.
It helps us both walk the world as I like to say coexisting. I want nothing from you and you want nothing from me. This is a transsexual. Coexist. Blend it. Make no problems. In fact make friends with the people you want to be like.
Why am I writing this? I feel a need to scream at the world. I am a transsexual man not a man. I want to be a man I want to look like a man BUT it has been such a long long time that I have wanted to scream it to the world. My biology is important it always has been, but it is personal or was, and now it needs to be at the front, There were never any problems with you before , now you hate me. It is not why I transitioned. I do not want you to hate me I only want to exist with you. I never want to take. It has always been that way.
Something happened to a space that changed my life for the better.Now it’s a competition. Nothing I know. Everything I am not. Anger. Hostility. Revenge. Hate. What is this? The opportunities are there.
I will never be a man but I will always be a Transsexual man. The difference is very important for both of us. It is how I made friends with you. My honesty. You loved my honesty. You said “It is so cool you used to be a woman”. So many of you said that to me.
This is my coexistence with you. All I want. Nothing more nothing less. I want to earn my place and cherish the rewards. The rewards of living together.
Love, Buck
Buck, I hear you, and really appreciate your scream.
It's because of wonderful and caring people such as yourself, that I'm routinely reminded why it's so important not put anyone into their narrowly defined "baskets", as the mainstream and divisive forces in our society would have us do.
What strikes me about this post, and what brought me to tears even, is how painful it seems that you're pleading to some of the very same people you'd already been coexisting with. Those who were previously accepting and maybe even appreciative of you, but who might have changed perspectives or soured towards anything associated with "trans", due to the aforementioned hostility and "taking" of things.
It breaks my heart that you have to watch and experience decades of progress and a largely peaceful/non-hateful population, be effectively turned against you through unfair association and over-politicized missteps from the most extreme voices on these matters. I follow you online and can see the vitriol coming from both sides. I really feel that most of the people repeating the extremist slogans and advocating for fast-track changes that huge swaths of the population still have reservations about (MtF in sports, prisons, sororities, and kids blocking puberty), aren't even doing it in the interest of trans-rights but for political gain.
Voices like yours, someone who has decades of valuable experience in life, are crucial to pushing back on the idea that everyone who simply wants to exist in society as a transsexual must believe everything you read on Twitter.
Stay strong. Much love to you, brother.
Thank you for being a voice of impassioned reason. Those behind Identity Politics (on both "sides" of the aisle) will continue the cycles of division and consolidation on their terms, regardless of who suffers, until the people say "Enough".
Americans are a difficult group to divide and conquer. We must keep it that way.