Taking Sides
Gender critical to detransitioners.
All sides are attacking me daily. Something I have gotten used to. Sad. What sides, you ask? I ask myself the same thing. Why are there even sides? This whole transgender world has become so damn toxic and mean that I think it has caused an enormous amount of pushback and hate from others. These are the sides I talk about.
Most people know I am transsexual, primarily online. I "transitioned" to live my life a long 32 years ago. It was so long ago; it feels unreal at this point. But I have to talk about it daily—my choice.
I posted this post of X the other day:
"I speak up for these kids because I care and have lived in "transition" for 32 years. I am happy. But remember this.Transsexualism does exist.. there is a small minority of us who need this. I started at age 30. I do not drink or smoke. I exercise. I eat right. I do not pound testosterone. I had a dr who cared and told me the truth. My liver is amazing. I go to a therapist for 32 years ! This is a commitment that ONLY an adult can make after very intense mental therapy and understanding."
I usually get a positive response. However, there is always a group that just wants to be mean and nasty. When I was a kid, my Dad said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all," or maybe my Mom said it. My Dad would have said, "Don't throw the first punch! "
I wonder to myself how these people feel when they say these things ..like this
This is from a detransitioner female. A detransitioner is someone who did what I did and then realized they made a grave mistake. I would be angry, too. But why, as a transsexual like myself who did this before this person was even born, as well, I speak out against children and young adults transitioning. I also give a voice to detransitioners on my YouTube podcast. After doing my podcast, many of them have gone on to tell their stories on more giant platforms than mine.
So why would this woman, who has every right to be pissed at doing this to herself, say this about me? I sit with myself often and think how I would feel if this didn't work out. WOULD I BE PISSED? Yes, I would. Would someone like me make me even more pissed because it worked out for me? Possibly.
There are a lot of layers here. My job is to have compassion for these kids and not take their hate personally. I get why they are mad, and I am a 62-year-old, not a teenager. Maturity is significant in all of this.
But then you have these women, called gender critical. Not all GC women are mad at me. I have a lot of people who see and respect me because I live in reality and acknowledge biology—laughing inside now because this whole biology insanity is just gaslighting from the trans-radical activists. They all know they are not women. Gaslighting us.This is how we got here in the first place.
A post from X saying things like this.
If you follow me, you know I am very aware I am female. It's so tedious to even talk about. I am unsure why some women are so mad at me and have to post stuff like this. I completely understand the detransitioners, I have a hard time understanding a grown woman posting this towards me. I am in this fight for women's rights as well as children. It's my whole platform. Yet the GC women still cannot acknowledge my choice to live this way and say very nasty things at times. Should I give them the same free pass I give the detranistioners? The good person in me says yes because they are pissed too. The asshole in me says no, they are adults and need to act accordingly, mainly because I am on their "side."
After 32 years of transition, I am shocked that this is where we are today. It's mind-blowing sometimes to see the insanity from all sides. I sit smack dab in the middle. It's not a fun place to be, but it is my place. After years of abuse, from being a tomboy to a butch dyke to a transsexual man, I have learned to deal with haters. My age also helps. Maturity is not just a number. It is also how you walk the world and deal with conflict.
Why am I writing this? I wanted to get it off my chest as well. I wanted you to see where I stand in all of this and why this is a lot for me at times. How I also have to navigate hateful people and really make a huge effort to find common ground with you all. Most of the people reading my posts here are women, which tells me that you understand what I am trying to do to help save women's spaces. You all mean a lot to me. Heck, my biology means a lot to me. Never will I turn my back on my history as a woman, a girl who looked like a boy and got teased for it! But you know what, that made me the strong guy I am today.
Love, Buck
They're angry because you don't fit the narrative both sides push. You transitioned outside the 'trans' ideology. That shows that you don't need all the ridiculous protection and validation they seek. You aren't a victim. You're not an identity group. You thrived. You didn't make a mistake. You are a transsexual. It's a difficult life. You made it work. Unfortunately, you became a poster boy for 'trans'...and some girls followed your example. This is the fault of the ideology. Without it, 99% of those transitioning now would never have done it. You know, it's not a normal thing. You know - bare bones - it's a choice. There are a very very small number of people with such severe gender dysphoria- for whatever the reason that have to transition. You are an inconvenience to the politics.
Gc Feminists are a mixed bunch! I am a UK one, been around for a while, and don't like the shouty 'we are right all the time' attitudes on either side. But boy oh boy I support women's rights and women's private spaces.
I don't want sides. But experience tells me the tras are far far more aggressive and nasty than Feminists, and ordinary people even in the UK are losing their jobs for speaking out against a dangerous ideology that destroys lives and has become a cult.
I like what you do Buck. But I don't like porn in any form and know the dangers of online porn.
Yes maturity, having to take time to consider a serious move in life, and a realistic attitude to biology, seem to be the key ingredients of successful transition.... from an outsider perspective.
The transvestites I used to know as friends when I was younger never ever thought they were the opposite sex. It does appear that the transexual ppl who are realists about biology seem so much more content than those who have to rely on external approval and victimhood....and are obviously very unhappy.
I like Donna's attempt below at categorising different outlooks. We are now though at a point where we see good trans ppl and difficult trans ppl. The latter seem unwell to me as they are so angry and deluded. Why is this happening in such increased numbers to when you were young? Is it mental illness, is it polluted water? Is it capitalism and the confused human race evolving far too quickly? Is it impossible demands in relation to gender expectations? Some of it will be because surgery is more accessible....dangerous.
But we don't say to kids with eating disorders they can starve themselves when their brains are telling them to. So why do we say irs OK to lose your reproductive organs because you have an onner feeling as a young person, not yet mature?
I'll keep on reading and listening.
Keep doing what you're doing Buck! I think you're doing a lot of good. The more voices like yours the better. You are needed. But thank goodness you aren't saying what the ideologically captured can bear to hear, and really want to hear. X